A six month review

I have been presented with a list of things to discuss with my bosses next week, along with a new job description. I know: whilst the rest of you are all out playing “here come the girls oooh ooh oh oh oh here come the girls oooh oh oh oh oh” and donning body glitter to go dancing in your offices and photocopying your naked bums (no? Doesn’t happen in real life anywhere, at all?)  – I will be discussing strategic and day to day tasks with not one but two(!) bosses.

It is the first job description I have actually seen since starting the job rather a while ago. And, I must say – it has made for some interesting reading. Especially since not ALL the surprises on there are just duties  I didn’t realise were mine to start with. There has in fact been a ‘restructure’ which has given me more or less things to do, depending on how it pans out. We’ll see. Anyway: the actual new part of my job description* includes the words “advise on best practice” and “SEO”. Together in the same sentence. Ha. Hahaha. Ahhh. Ha. Seriously?**

* I am still recovering from the disappointment that it doesn’t say “Follow your whims to your heart’s content.”

** Obviously, they don’t read my blog. I am fairly sure if they had a little look at the Superfiona page-rank-technorati-thing-number-of-subscribers-on-google-reader they would rethink the whole “knows about SEO etc.” malarkey. Ha.

So. The job description is one thing. The other is this list of questions which make up a ‘self assessment’. I am actually supposed to take this seriously, so I am trying to plan my responses like a person who can take things seriously would do. Many of the questions are totally fine and answerable and I can just about do it without being too much of a twat (but you have to be a bit of a twat, I think, at these times of singing your own praises) – apart from I have got stuck on one little question, crammed at the bottom of the page with but a couple of lines to write my answer:

What kind of work would you like to be doing in one/two/five years time.

I MEAN! OH MY GOD, the week before Christmas and I have to decide what my five year plan is? I can barely think beyond the wrapping of presents that have not been prepared yet… The possibilities for five years time are pretty much endless. There are many things I would like to be doing in one/two/five years time, but I keep getting stuck with the foreword. I mean, my actual-related-to-job answer must always be precluded by endless “oh, assuming I am not going to leave and:

a) write a novel and get a massive advance by a super huge publishing company OR

b) win the lottery OR

c) just become a lady of leisure OR

d) become a columnist for a left wing newspaper that pays shitloads of money OR

e) become a real sold out blogger OR

f) become a chocolate taster….”

It is a struggle. What would YOU like to do in five years time at work? I am looking for the happy medium between “running the entire company, obv. I will usurp you all bring me a cup of tea and an iPhone I have arrived!” and “Oh, you know, I’m happy where I am, have no real drive/ambition to further my career.” Anyone?