Dear Fi-in-sixmonthstime,
I hope you have finally grown out your fringe now, and are residing happily in a lovely new home.
I don’t know if you know already, but it has actually been snowing? Have you heard?
Anyway, it was all very nice and pretty on Friday and we were festive at work. We gathered around the electric fan heaters eating Tesco mince pies (surprisingly acceptable) and double cream, singing Bing Crosby. “Hallelujah it has snowed, let it snow, just like the ones I used to knowwww tum tum tum te tum” we sang, with the mircrowave PING! coming just at the right time to announce more mince pies and it was grand and we were happy.
Then it was Saturday and it was still snowy – and it was still quite nice, for I saw some snowmen and really made the most of my wellington boots and Saturday is universally acknowledged to be the best day ever invented anyway. And then it was Sunday and it was still snowy, and it was still just a little bit nice and novel because we didn’t leave the flat all day and I made Tova biscuits, whilst rediscovering my love for that Band Aid song.
But, come on now. Could you please get a direct line to Zeus and ask him to do something about the weather six months ago? It is Monday and this cold spell has gone on long enough. I can barely make it to work (ie. around the corner) without nearly slipping over; it is unrelentingly freezing cold wherever I go (our flat is the most energy inefficient dwelling ever, and by a strange coincidence I happen to work in the most energy inefficient office ever too). I am getting fed up of going to bed with tights on underneath my tracksuit trousers topped with three long sleeved things and a sweatshirt over them, clutching bravely onto a hot water bottle and STILL BEING COLD!
What I mean to say is, I am cold.
This is what it’s like when it is winter, Fi-in-sixmonthstime. It is cold and you can’t just cosy up and your fingers won’t type properly and your teeth will chatter so much that you can’t be bothered to be coherent anymore and you No Longer Care about the apostrophe (or not) in the phrase “six months time”.
When some idiot asks you the idiotic question “would you rather be too hot or too cold?” please remember that you do really need to think very hard about your answer. I know what you’ll say – “it’s sooooo hot! Make it cool down! I must put my feet in cold water! Too hot!” – but, actually, sometimes you can’t cosy up and get warm. Remember! This!
Hallam has two pairs of pyjamas on and he is very cute all bundled up but!?!!! STILL COLD. And! The fan heaters in the office are not so great now that they have started tripping the electricity and I have started being an idiot and not backing up three hours’ worth of work. Fun times.
I am not saying air conditioning units are great for not tripping the electricity, but being too cold is rubbish.
I really hope your fringe looks better now,
Fi-sixmonthsago-in-the-cold
6 Comments
Just imagine if you still lived on your old road, along which I nearly killed myself on Sunday since the whole of Clifton has turned into a lethal skating rink hell upon which one could actually die while trying to get to Billie’s for a hangover curing breakfast hash. Imagine that, Fi-whose-fringe-has-not-grown-out. Happy Christmas to y’all, by the way. I’d come round for a Tova biscuit if I could LEAVE MY FLAT x
I hate the cold with a passion. There was a week last January where it didn’t get below 40 degrees (even at night), the trains stopped working, the buses were crowded and I considered going insane, and THAT WAS STILL BETTER THAN CAMPING IN THE COLD.
Thank you, at least someone else has admitted that being too hot is better than being too cold.
It might not be too cold in your place if you put the heating on and turned it up. Bill tells me it’s on (almost) the lowest setting. That’s not going to help!
Hope your fringe is but a distant memory oh Future Fiona… and as for cold… I live in Scotland… The temperatures you are experiencing right now are similar to ours in Summer… no, really…
(Chilly) fingers crossed you warm up soon – eat lots of high cal goodies over the festive season to keep hypothermia from the door! xxx
PS – sorry for lack of Christmas Cardage – haven’t got anything done this year due to Baby Belle feeding constantly! xxx
Olivia – ohh, Hove is much the same. We may as well live on different sides of the country! (I think it is melting now though. Obviously, Zeus reads my blog.)
Briony – At first I thought you were doing an Australian joke about 40 degrees being cold! I am considering insanity right now… Hmph. I want a sunny Christmas.
Tom – I concur, at this point in time. I just know that in the summer I will prefer the other point in time. The grass is always greener, the weather extremities are always more favourable, etc.etc.
Moxie – Don’t be silly, for I have not managed to send Christmas cards and I don’t even have a constantly feeding baby to blame it on (although, actually, a ‘still feeding at night baby’ so I can blame it on that a bit? No?)
You should move South!
xxx
Hi Fiona,
Love your blog! And great post – the grass is always greener, hey?
Don’t know if you’ve ever checked out http://www.futureme.org…? Great for sending your future self these kinds of messages,as a reminder!